I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
