Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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