he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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