I just cut my nipple shaving
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
