you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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