Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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