Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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