It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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