I just gift wrapped bread.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
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