Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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