i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize