woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
