You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
