she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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