What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
