i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
