So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
