using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
sex in a hospital.. check
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
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