You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The adults are the big ones right?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
