you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
