All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize