How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
