There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
