This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
