I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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