idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
