i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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