I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
