thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she smelled like a LAN party
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
