A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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