I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
