I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
