happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
im six kinds of drunk right now
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize