erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
