So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
