You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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