My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
its not stalking. its research.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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