Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
