You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You are the jesus of drinking
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
