We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
