Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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