I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
