If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
