Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
