how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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