i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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