i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I want her autograph on my taint
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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