Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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