Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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