It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My dick has a subreddit
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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