pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize