and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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