And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize