The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Welp...herpes.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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