Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
