Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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