i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
