Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The Olympian is in my bed
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
